Acoustic Night

Two go mad in Bristol!!

Julian Ramsey-Wade began the evening by explaining the presence of numerous cameras, lighting rigs and two of the sexiest one hundred women in the world (copyright FHM magazine) in Holly Willoughby (number 26) and Fearne Cotton (number 69). Our humble Acoustic Night has been selected to appear on an ITV1 programme in September in which the aforementioned ladies try and find the perfect date. Julian then opened proceedings with a “wonderful, incredible and beautiful” poem.

MILES GETTING THE ‘ITV EYE’
Gary Death gave a downbeat start with “Surrounded” (“I’m depressed / Surrounded by people who are depressed”) and then provided “a vision of the future” – 2 DVDs together: Thomas the Tank Engine and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.

GARY DEATH

Then the aptly named Mayhem performed a solo song (“Just like brave Odysseus / I’m stranded year by year”) and Dinosaur Rock, accompanied by backing doo-wops and two dancing toy dinosaurs. (This appealed to the TV people, who inquired as to the writer of said ditty).

MAYHEM

Holly Willoughby bravely (?) read a poem which endeavoured to explain the principle of the TV show (Julian was not entirely positive!) and David Johnson saw fit to “list…the girls that I have kissed” before describing himself as “as crabby as a cabby who finds lust on his back seat”.

The theme of romance was continued by James Bunting, with his self-explanatory first song titled “Southmead sounds romantic in a song” (a Bristolian rewrite of Tequila Sunrise) which he followed with “Bristol Docks”, a tale of getting battered on whisky at The Ostrich pub. Looking forward to the 27^th, when James is our special guest.

Mark Patrick-Hill performed a 1998 poem “Icebergs” (“We are not gorillas in the mist”) and a current piece – Comfort Zone – (“Would you ignore the open door for the sake of comfort?”. The contrast was illuminating.

MARK PATRICK HILL

Helen – a friend of James Bunting and a debut performer at Halo – treated us to two a capella covers: Billie Holiday’s “Lover man” and Norah Jones’s “One flight down” with impressive control and soul especially given how nervous she claimed to be.

HELEN

Finally in the first half, David Sollors performed a poem about “Four real Liberian children (“your Wendy house a tin hut filled with skulls”) and “Mermaids” (“…a creature of instinct / devoid of human sentiment”) .

BREAK – extended on behalf of the TV people

Julian recommenced by disappointing the TV stars, emphasizing his married status by performing a poem for his wife (“I have got down on one knee”) (“I have been lucky”) then introduced our special guest, John Terry.

JOHN TERRY

John performed the expected intelligent and crafted set, mixing art and science, serious and humourous to great effect. His first poem wished “if only we could keep things as they were”, while his second dealt with “The Eighth Day” (it was Saturday night before anyone missed the scientists”). Next he namechecked John Babbington Mill, crap inventor (“everything has holes in its socks”) before two pieces “Invaders” and “Voyager” with an apparent sci-fi leaning. “Tripping the Titanic” postulates a future tourist attraction which is not attractive to everyone, while Bluebeard’s Castle and Papa’s Pigeon, based on a famously unfaithful historical character and a famous musical work respectively, weave complex imagery into a straightforward narrative. “The Metallic Verses” (“safe from the Taliban?”) preceded (“How many fingers am I holding up?”) and “Fill Me Up” to round off a full set with no room for a wafer-thin mint.

Doc Satori made (I think) his first appearance at Halo – his first song advised living “from day to day” while his second, “Soul Surrender” suggested “Surrender with everything you’ve got. Hope we see him again.

DOC SATORI

Helen Gregory performed “If I were Morse Code, you’d be my…” (I can’t remember what the code was!!!) and a new poem (“This is not a love poem / It just wants to be friends”). Anyone believe it??

The inevitable Phil Baber sang “L’Amoureuse” (in French) and “Loneliness becomes you”)(“Let’s not mess our heads up / Let’s not fall in love”) to try and move us from the love theme of the evening. However Ian Sills then reverted back to type (after performing Fern/Elise for the wrong Fearne) by reprising the negative love vibes of “Ever Fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with?” The desired sympathetic reaction was not achieved.

IAN SILLS

Laienda (then took to the stage using 2 guitars, a viola, a bodhran and a solo voice. As you might expect from the above mix of instruments, the music was quite folky but entirely original, with the mix of sounds and textures very uplifting.

LAIENDA

In sharp contrast Martin made his debut at Halo playing his ukulele along to “Nought and Crosses” and (back on the familiar theme) ”Why don’t women like me? Very jaunty.

Hazel Hammond then performed her “pulling poem”, “My Utopia”, pointing out “Uncle isn’t a synonym for paedophile”. She then plugged World Mental Health Day in October.

HAZEL HAMMOND

Finally, and by no means least, Suzy Condrad was persuaded to play “Tightrope” and “What remains of the Day”. (“I’d rather see stars”). I’d rather see Suzy more often, and that goes for most of the performers here tonight, although maybe not the TV people!

SUZY CONDRAD

ACOUSTIC NIGHT STATS

AUDIENCE 53
VIRGINS 2
TV PRESENTERS 2
STOOGES 6
DATING VICTIM STRANGELY ABSENT…