Acoustic Night

First off, I must say that I was delighted to be there to support this night as, not only am I a performance poet, but also host the Big Mouth Poetry Tent at Ashton Court. So big up to Acoustic Night for what turned out to be a brilliant night which raised a fair bit of money for Bristol’s very own and very special and very unique and very very Ashton Court Festival! Wayhey!

Evening hosted by Julian Ramsey-Wade and Polly Moyer. Kicked off with explaining about how Ashton Court is short of funds and may not run at all this year if we don’t dig deep and give as much as we all can. Ashton Court festie receives no funding from Bristol City Council, and Orange have withdrawn their sponsorship. Year on year the event costs more as licensing laws, security bills, bills to repair vandalism, etc., all impact, as well as the smaller than expected no. of people at last year’s festie. We all love Ashton Court so everyone primed to lighten their wallets and purses during the course of the evening.

Kicked off with Julian Ramsey-Wade, looking very sparky in spite of disturbed nights with new baby Eric, and surprisingly devoid of baby spittle all over his shoulder! Julian began with a storming poem by Anonymous which was bought for £2.20 plus the promise of disclosure. (Although I still don’t know who it was!) Great start.

First up from the list of performers was Ian Sills with his poem about getting pissed, red hot pokers, fishnet tights, and being a Renaissance Man! Plus a great plug for Acoustic Night website – sold for £.3.11 plus a first class stamp.

A cautious introduction to the bidding, then, as we had the first music act of the night. James Hicks auctioning the lyrics to his kinda country kinda folksy, with a hint of the James Taylors about him circa 1960s – if only because of the hair!! Voice as deep as he was tall – which was very. Sold his lyrics for £6.50

JAMES HICKS

Next up was Craig Wilson ably accompanied by Phil Baber on guitar who did a valiant job of keeping up with motormouth Craig, giving his punk poem a surprising flamenco feel. Well done that man. Kind of politico flamenco – sold for £3.50

MC Julian read his own poem – which was framed for the selling – allegedly the first poem of the Millenium, written on Brandon Hill – which went for £7 with the bidder very kindly giving it back to Julian (to sell again, I think!). And all was rounded off with an auction for a meal to the value of £30 donated by Halo. This made £15, which was then matched by Julian and given to Will on sound as thanks for all his sterling work at Acoustic Night. Lovely gesture guys!

Next up was Gina Briganti who introduced her poem with an anecdote about going to her 1st Ashton Court in 1978 where she watched naked hippies dancing (those were the days, eh? Now more likely to see semi-naked hippies pooing in the woods!) Her Avebury stone circle poem went down well and sold for £6.

Stalwart of Acoustic Night Phil Baber was next up with his Spanish poem by Lorca put to music, bringing much needed warmth to a rather chilly room. He put up the poem plus his own original Aardman drawings of Wallace and Gromit, making £15.20 plus a cuddle from Helen Gregory.

Next was Hazel Hammond and her poem about Tracy Emin complete with pick me ups, art works, Orangina – PLUS a knitted vagina! Yes, a framed and beautifully formed c*nt. There was much furious bidding, with Julian modelling the much coveted front bottom which in the end went for £17 – a bargain!

Next up was Peter S who performed his own lovely poem for auction PLUS the offer of Nathan Filer performing to the bidder who came up with the highest bid. A form of poetry human trafficking! So, that’s cuddles, c*nts, and slavery – and we were only about half way through the night. After Pete’s poem about a knife, blood lust, and murder, Cathy Keal beat the other bidders and got the poem plus Nathan for the bargain price of £7 (why oh why didn’t I beat her?? I think I was still giggling at the c*nt shenanigans …) Nathan proceeded to get down on one knee to perform his love poem to Cathy – the lucky woman!

NATHAN & CATHY

Then we had out-of-towner Talkin Tekla the Narrata who was allowed to do 2 poems as they were being recorded for his Glastonbury demo – hoping to get a spot in the poetry tent there. First one about bumping into an old girlfriend who was ‘on his ass’, and the 2nd one an audience participation poem about – Pride. Went down a storm.

TALKIN’ TEKLA

To round off the first half we had James White with his ‘Well to the world to find water’ song thang. His lyrics pulled in over a fiver, I lost track of the bidding somehow, well we were all thirsty!!

JAMES WHITE

After the break Polly Moyer once again reminded us why we were there and to big up the Ashton Court crew who give their time voluntarily, and to let us know that ACF are so skint that the staff haven’t been paid since December! Even though the audience had thinned out a bit people were still keen to give and give.

POLLY AND JULIAN

First in the second half was Bristol’s very own poetry giant (well, he is very tall) – Miles Chambers, reminding us all that 2007 is the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the European slave trade with a brilliant and thought provoking poem consisting of a plea for peeps to not see everyone and everything in black and white. Wanting to be normal and not seen first by the colour of his skin. Lets get rid of all that stereotyping bollocks, chill out and not make such a big deal. His signed poem, CD, plus DVD went for a justly deserved £17.20. Class act.

Helen Gregory was next to step up to the mike with 2 items. A haiku written on an old computer keyboard went for £10.50, this was swiftly followed by a poem which was pegged on a washing line, plus (and this is very important …) a bus ticket to Horfield (well important if you wanted to return there …). her poem posed the question “what do you do?” – written about a strong woman the Orient. The poem and artwork sold for £12.50.

HELEN GREGORY

We then had an auction for City Poems plus 3 anthologies – all donated by David Johnson. These raised £10.

People were starting to run out of money. Audience thinner, pockets lighter, as they were urged to dig deep for the next poet – oh, that was me. Yes, Rosemary Dun read a brand new spanking poem about love, longing, and webcams which went for £6.

DRINKS BREAK!!
Next up was James Hicks again – you sure he’s not the love child of James Taylor?

And the following act was Andi Langford Woods with her framed copy of Insects – a treatise on Ikea – those cunning Swedish bastards. Selling for £10.

Polly Moyer was next with her offering of a poem with possibly the longest title ever! All about her and her husband visiting an Irish music workshop – and with some not bad attempts at Irish accents (still, what do I know?) Poem plus 4 books went for £8.75.

Then we had another musical repast with Phil Baber this time singing in English and charmingly fluffing it a bit. Upbeat number with handwritten lyrics up for sale reaching £5.50.

Wilf Mertten stepped up to the mike with old pornography framed from a bookstore (is that legal?). A poem with 3 titles with something about lifting breasts with a coat hanger?? seagulls, hearts as hard stones, sleeping in car. Poem as artwork went for £6.

WILF GETS A FEEL OF WILLS VAGINA

Cathy Keal was next. Auctioning a haiku on a shell. Then another 2 poems touching on gardening plus tips on how to tell if someone has meningitis (apparently they throw their head back and cry like a cat in pain). The final poem was about a bluebottle and not wanting its vomit over her bacon sandwich. The haiku on shell, a necklace, plus 2 poems went for the bargain price of £10.

Next up was MC Julian Ramsey-Wade’s poem plus feather to stop mountaineers from falling! Poem about mental illness, disability plus suicide. A brave poem which went for £5.20 with much counting of pennies as the audience was more or less cleaned out by then.

And the end of the evening was Ian Sills poem about heckling everyone and being told off. Ably heckled by members of the audience – not rehearsed at all, honest… Yeah, right.

IAN SILLS

A great evening was had by all on this Bank Holiday Monday and Acoustic Night, in total (including donations) raised somewhere in the region of £200!!! Brilliant. We all went home knackered, in good spirits, and with only pennies jingling in our pockets! A REMINDER – if you, yes you, want to donate to the wondrous Bristol institution which is Ashton Court Festival then pop into the office or visit their website on www.ashtoncourtfestival.com

ROSEMARY DUN

And goodnight!
Rosemary Dun
Co-ordinator of Big Mouth Poetry Tent @ Ashton Court Festival

www.rosemarydun.co.uk
www.myspace.com/rosemary_dun

ACOUSTIC NIGHT STATS
AUDIENCE 36 Not enough!! But it was a warm Bank Holiday
PERFORMERS 19
A N VIRGINS 1 no we’re not losing our touch…
BENEFIT TOTAL £215.00 & A 1^ST CLASS STAMP